2007: Year Of The Toilet

2007 is over. All hail 2008.

Seriously people, I can't remember the last time I was so eager to see the ball drop in Times Square. To say that 2007 was a "bad year" would be a massive understatement. "Woefully abysmal" would be more accurate. The last 12 months were so unbelievably terrible, I've actually found myself scoffing at those who had a great 2007, and feel a kinship with those who would rather forget the year even happened. Had I not been in bed watching Ryan Seacrest inch ever closer to taking his undeserved spot as Dick Clark's heir apparent, I would have been in a bar in South Jersey somewhere, cursing 2007 and belting out Auld Lang Syne with the rest of the dregs that it left behind.

Now, one could make the argument that I was due for a bad year. I submit that five of the last eight years were particularly joyous for me. Consider during that stretch of time I met Jena (1999), married her and travelled with her to Italy (2001), we got our first house (2003), had our first son, Charlie (2004), and our second son, Jamie (2006). The other three years during that timeframe were also happy times, spent courting Jena (2000), house hunting (2002), and learning to be new parents (2005).

2007. Cursed. Damned. Unholy.

I know what you're thinking. "C'mon, Carlos ... isn't this a little over the top? No year could have possibly been THAT bad. You're exaggerating." Ah, but I wish I was. Allow me to illuminate you. Here is a breakdown of the past 365 wretched days that together composed 2007, written almanac style for your reading pleasure.

January
9 — After more than three months of being unemployed in Michigan, I accepted a job offer in the Philadelphia area. I then had to resign my position as a council member for Zion Lutheran Church, just days after being elected.

10 — During a Jan. 5-8 apartment hunting trip to the Philadelphia area with Jena and both boys in tow, we find a great place in Cheltenham and give a cash deposit to a landlord. But shortly after our return to Michigan, the landlord decides to rent the apartment to another couple who were doing a local move. He does, however, return our deposit money. But the decision means we now have to drive 18 hours back and forth to the Philly area again to look for an apartment, and the second trip will be without Jena and Jamie, because they are already booked on a flight to Florida to visit the grandparents.

13 to 15 — I drive back to Philadelphia with Charlie. We find another apartment, this one in Glenside. The rent is cheap and it is within walking distance of the SEPTA train. Unfortunately, upon moving in a few weeks later we discover the apartment is a total dump, and I immediately regret the decision to move there. We spend much of the rest of the year looking for a new apartment, and eventually break our lease.

22 — A real estate agent from Birmingham who we were going to have help sell our house, misses two appointments with us, and accuses Jena of making a scheduling mistake. We instead decide to list our house with another Birmingham agent, Dawn Rassel.

February
2 to 3 — We rent a large truck and a trailer for the move to Philadelphia. We say goodbye to our friends and neighbors in Michigan. The trip is marred by dangerously cold temperatures (around 70 below with wind chill) and near blizzard conditions.

4 — The Chicago Bears, my football team, lose Super Bowl XLI to the Indianapolis Colts, 29-17.

5 — My first day at work at my new job with a software company in suburban Philadelphia. In a telltale sign of things to come, my new boss tells me to "get started reading software manuals." The company gradually becomes a nightmare employer.

14 — On Valentine's Day, I go on a one-day business trip with my new boss and another co-worker. We take an Amtrak train to Washington D.C., where a client is headquartered. The Amtrak rides and the visit with the client all go smoothly. Upon returning to Philadelphia's 30th Street Station, we all split up to catch different SEPTA trains. I purchase some roses for Jena and then wait for the SEPTA train that will take me back to Glenside. While waiting, I see my new boss in a drunken stupor stagger up to the ticket window and get into an angry confrontation with a female ticket agent. He shouts and throws money at her, then angrily storms off to his platform. He had been drinking on the Amtrak train back to Philly, and had apparently gone to a bar in the station for a few more drinks before getting on the SEPTA. After seeing him drunk a few more times, both at work and in other settings, I deduce that my new boss may have a drinking problem.

March
4 to 24 — Jena gets very sick. She has an extremely painful sore throat. She goes to see a doctor on March 5, and I skip one day of travel back down to D.C. to stay home and try to take care of her. She isn't much better the next day when I have to leave her with the boys and go to D.C. Thankfully, the trip is cut short and I am back home for the rest of her illness. Jena does not improve, gets dehydrated, and is admitted to Abington Memorial Hospital on March 12. She is released a few hours later. I work from home, March 13-14. We decide to send the boys to their grandparents in Richmond until Jena gets better. I meet my parents in Baltimore on March 15, and Charlie and Jamie go home with them. Jena still does not improve. We think that the Glenside apartment, which is filthy, may not be helping her recovery. Jena takes a train down to Richmond on March 20. Jena finally starts to feel better around March 23, and I meet her and the boys and my parents again in Baltimore. Jena is sick for a total of 21 days.

27 — We find out that despite pleas from my parents, the pastor of their church refuses to baptize their grandson, Jamie, because his parents are not church members. It doesn't seem to matter that my parents have been active members of the church since 1992, and I was once a member there myself and worked with the Youth Group. We eventually get Jamie baptized at our church in Michigan, but no friends or relatives (or even the congregation) are in attendance.

April
7 — My mother-in-law comes to visit, April 4 to 9. (This isn't the bad part, I love my mother-in-law). On the night of April 7, Jena and I get ready to go out to a movie. The boys are asleep, and my mother-in-law is trying to get to sleep on the couch in our living room, but can't because our upstairs neighbors are having a loud party, and it's not the first one they've had. I decide to go upstairs and knock on their door and ask them to please keep the noise down. The drunk boyfriend of the young woman who lives upstairs answers the door and gets belligerent with me. He tells me that my kids make a lot of noise, and that therefore he doesn't have to keep the noise down. We almost get into a fist fight. After the confrontation is over and I go back downstairs, they are strangely quiet for the rest of the evening, but my mother-in-law is terrified. Jena and I decide to stay close and get drinks at Applebee's instead of going to see a movie.

May
6 — I lose my $300 cell phone following a softball game in Warrington. I may have placed it on the roof of my car while buckling up one of the boys.

9 — I get pulled over by the police (jurisdiction undetermined) in Jenkintown and receive a warning about a headlight.

11 — We attend a Chicago Cubs-Philadelphia Phillies baseball game at Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia. I park on a street with a long line of other cars before the game, but afterwards I receive a $41 parking ticket. The Cubs lose the game, 7-2.

14 to 18 — I am sent to a client in Upper Saddle River, N.J. for a week with a co-worker. At the beginning of one of our first meetings there, my co-worker decides to introduce both of us, and tells everyone that "if you need help picking the next card in solitaire, Charlie is the guy to go to." I am furious. I initially decide to confront him during our lunch break, but when the opportunity to do so arrives I decide against it, since I may be working with him for some time. Holding back later proves to be a mistake.

25 — Jena gets a ticket after missing a toll booth on the Pennsylvania Turnpike.

29 — Jena gets her Pennsylvania driver's license, but I am unable to get mine because I don't have all the required paperwork.

June
2 — I return to the DMV for a second time, but am still unable to get my Pennsylvania driver's license because the computers are down.

4 — I am sent back to our client in Washington, D.C. Today is my first day of doing formal computer training to a group of people for my new job. The training goes well, but I make the mistake of confiding in an employee there that this was my first training session for my employer. A series of other incidents that did not involve me, most of them political, occur and I am sent home the next day.

7 — Jena has a car accident in Harleysville, Pa. While waiting to make a left turn at a light, another driver crosses the double yellow line and sideswipes her. The police do not come to the scene of the accident, but a police report is filed afterwards. The other driver tells Jena that his family-owned company will pay for the damages, but later that day we find out that they will not. Our insurance company pursues a claim against the other driver for the rest of the year.

8 — We finally receive an offer on our house, but it is for less money than we were hoping. Also, the young single woman who wants to buy our house, a Paris Hilton clone, demands that we make more than $1000 in improvements before closing. Since it is a buyer's market, and without any other offers or prospects, we comply. We spend the next five weeks getting the repairs completed. On the same day, my employer takes me off the Washington, D.C. account for political reasons.

28 — While Jena is out of town to cover an eye doctors' convention in Boston, and the boys are at a babysitter's house, I am suddenly terminated from my job. Despite my best efforts, applying for more than 100 jobs, I would remain unemployed for the rest of 2007.

29 — During the convention in Boston, Jena is diagnosed with Choroidal Neovascularization (CNV) and Degenerative Myopia in her left eye. There is no cure for CNV, and without treatment she could lose her eyesight. She begins two forms of therapy for the CNV, which continue through the end of the year.

30 — I decide to take down the web site for Brenda Monarch, my comic strip character, because of several problems (speed, email, price, downtime) with the web hosting company. It is the first time Brenda is not on the Internet since 1997, and her web site remains down the rest of the year.

July
13 — We close on our house in Royal Oak, bringing an end to 12 years of living in Michigan and the metropolitan Detroit area.

31 — My health insurance coverage through my former employer ends. We would be without health insurance for the next two months.

August
1 — On our first day of living in New Jersey, I am pulled over by the police for speeding in East Greenwich Township. We discover, too late, that Jena had accidently removed the insurance card from the car. I get two tickets: one for speeding, and one for failure to produce proof of insurance. The latter charge requires a court appearance.

2 — Jena has a meeting with her boss. She is told that her editor title will be changed to that of staff writer. The name change is made against her wishes.

6 — To save money, we need pull Charlie and Jamie out of daycare two days a week. They start going to daycare on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays.

12 — I need to replace another $300 cell phone. The screen broke when I put the phone in my front pocket and then had to run after Charlie in a parking lot.

13 — I receive notice that my court date in East Greenwich Township for my August 1 ticket had been changed to an earlier date, and I had missed it. Since our mail was still being forwarded from Glenside, I did not receive the notice in time.

20 — Comcast refuses to let me return our cable controller to the local office in Moorestown, N.J., so I have to drive an hour to another Comcast office in Willow Grove, Pa.

September
10 — I spend the morning at the East Greenwich Township courthouse for my court appearance. I meet with the prosecutor, who refuses to dismiss the charges of driving without proof of insurance. I have to plead guilty to the charge, and wind up paying about $100 for the ticket and court costs.

11 — Molly, my parents' 9-year-old Golden Retriever, dies suddenly after a brief illness.

13 — A sad anniversary. One year ago we decided to give away Clara, our Yorkshire Terrier.

24 — I prepare for, but fail, the Apple Certified Help Desk Specialist (ACHDS) certification exam. The test cost $150.

30 — After an improbable comeback from last place, the Kodiak Black Sox, my fantasy baseball team, lose the World Series to my friend Michael Miller's curiously-named "Maicer Izturis Kicks Erse" franchise, 6-4.

October
1 — To save money, we decide to pull Jamie completely out of daycare. Charlie keeps going three days a week.

3 to 6 — The Chicago Cubs get swept by the Arizona Diamondbacks in the NLDS.

26 — Jena goes to cover a convention in Tampa, Fla. During the trip, she loses our digital camera.

29 — Jena has her first CNV therapy treatment in Wyncote, Pa. She is given an injection in her eyeball of a drug called Avastin. For the next several days her eye is in pain from the injection.

November
9 — Jena has another CNV procedure, Photodynamic Therapy (PDT), in Cherry Hill, N.J. She must stay out of the sun and away from halogen light for the next 48 hours to avoid burning her skin.

10 to 13 — We learn that our friend, Linda Krasa, is dying of cancer. We decide to drive to Michigan to see her one more time. Linda passes away on Nov. 14.

21 — Jena gets pulled over by the police for not having a front license plate in East Greenwich Township. We think it is the same police officer who pulled me over on August 1 for speeding.

December
1 — I get into a low-speed car accident with the Jeep in Cherry Hill, N.J. A woman driving in front of me slammed on her brakes for no apparent reason way after a yield sign. There is virtually no damage to the Jeep (fortunately), but the other car was a 1990 Nissan Maxima and was totaled. Immediately following the accident, I get out and ask the driver (a woman in her 50s) and the passenger (her mother) if they are both OK and they say yes. We pull over and exchange insurance information. While doing this, the other driver calls the police. She then starts to complain about having a headache. The police show up, and ask if everyone is OK. The other driver again says that she is having headaches, and claims that her mother is having neck pain. The police officer writes me a ticket for careless driving, another charge that requires a court appearance in New Jersey. He tells me that he had to issue the ticket because the other driver claimed she was hurt.

7 — Jena has her second Avastin injection in her eyeball, this time in Cherry Hill. Again, for the next several days her eye is painful.

13 — I go for my court appearance in Cherry Hill. The other driver and her mother do not show up, but the prosecutor refuses to dismiss the charges. The prosecutor gives me two options: avoid points by pleading guilty and paying $400 in fines and court costs, or plead not guilty and go to trial, which I would probably lose and pay $600. At first I decide on the latter, but then change my mind and pick the former.

31 — The year couldn't go by without something bad happening on the last day. After returning from a relaxing trip to Florida for Christmas, I pick up a certified letter from the post office. The woman from the Dec. 1 accident had sought legal counsel, and it appears that she is poised to sue me and my insurance company. There aren't many details yet, but it looks like the fallout from this accident will continue well into 2008, maybe beyond.